1.Dance Of The Cucumber
From Episode 4--Rack, Shack, and Benny
Narrator：'Larry will be performing the traditional Argentinian
ballad,
'The Dance of the Cucumber,' in it's original Spanish. Bob the
Tomato
will translate.'
Larry： 'Miren al pepino'
Bob： 'Watch the cucumber'
Larry： 'miren como se mueve'
Bob： 'see how he moves'
Larry： 'como un leon'
Bob： 'like a lion'
Larry： 'tras un raton.'
Bob： 'chasing a mouse.'
Larry： 'Miren al pepino'
Bob： 'Watch the cucumber'
Larry： 'sus suaves movimientos'
Bob： 'Oh, how smooth his motion'
Larry： 'tal como mantequilla'
Bob： 'like butter'
Larry： 'en un chango pelon.'
Bob： 'on a ... bald monkey.'
Larry： 'Miren al pepino'
Bob： 'Look at the cucumber'
Larry： 'los vegetales'
Bob： 'all the vegetables'
Larry： 'envidian a su amigo'
Bob： 'envy their friend'
Larry： 'como el quieren bialar'
Bob： 'wishing to dance as he'
Larry： 'Pepino bailarin, pepino bailarin, pepino bailarin'
Bob： 'Dancing cucumber, dancing cucumber, dancing cucumber'
Larry： 'Baila, baila, ya!'
Bob： 'Dance, dance, yeah!'
Larry： 'Miren al tomate'
Bob： 'Look at the tomato'
Larry： 'no es triste？'
Bob： 'Isn't it sad？'
Larry： 'El no puede bailar.'
Bob： 'He can't dance.'
Larry： '!Pobre tomate!'
Bob： 'Poor tomato!'
Larry： 'El deberia poder bailar'
Bob： 'He wishes he could dance'
Larry： 'Como el pepino'
Bob： 'like the cucumber'
Larry： 'libre y suavemente.'
Bob： 'free and smooth.'
Larry： 'Pero el no puede danzar.'
Bob： 'But he can't ... Okay! Stop the music! What do ya mean I
can't
dance？ I can dance! What about Uncle Louie's polka party？ Didn't
you see
me dancing at Uncle Louie's polka party？'
Larry： 'No comprendo.'
Bob： 'No comprendo？ I'll show you 'No comprendo'!'
Jr.： 'Mom! Dad! Look over here! Get a picture of me next to the
cucumber
in authentic Argentinian garb!'
Dad： 'Okay, Junior. But we'd better hurry--I think the dwarves
have your
mother confused with someone else! Say 'Peas!''
All： 'Peas!'
Larry： 'Escuchen el pepino'
Bob： 'Listen to the cucumber'
Larry： 'oigan su voz fuerte'
Bob： 'hear his strong voice'
Larry： 'como un leon'
Bob： 'like a lion'
Larry： 'listo a devorar.'
Bob： 'about to eat.'
Larry： 'Escuchen al pepino'
Bob： 'Listen to the cucubmer'
Larry： 'que dulce as su canto'
Bob： 'oh how sweet his voice'
Larry： 'la voz de su garganta perece un triar.'
Bob： 'the breath from his throat is like a chorus of little
birdies.'
Larry： 'Escuchen al pepino'
Bob： 'Listen to the cucumber'
Larry： 'los vegetales'
Bob： 'all the vegetables'
Larry： 'envidian a su amigo'
Bob： 'envy their friend'
Larry： 'como el quieren cantar.'
Bob： 'wishing to sing as he.'
Larry： 'Pepino cantador, pepino cantador, pepino cantador'
Bob： 'Singing cucumber, singing cucumber, singing cucumber'
Larry： 'canta, canta, ya!'
Bob： 'sing, sing, yeah!'
Larry： 'Escuchen al tomate'
Bob： 'Listen to the tomato'
Larry： '？No es triste？'
Bob： 'Isn't it sad？'
Larry： 'El no puede cantar.'
Bob： 'He can't sing.'
Larry： 'Pobre tomate.'
Bob： 'Poor tomato.'
Larry： 'El deberia poder cantar'
Bob： 'He wishes he could sing'
Larry： 'fuerte y ducle como el pepino'
Bob： 'strong and sweet like the cucumber'
Larry： 'Pero no puede ...'
Bob： 'But he can't ...'
Larry： '!Ni siquiera da un silbido!'
Bob： 'Can't even ... whistle! All right! That's it Senor! Come
over here
and let me sing YOU a song!'
Larry： 'Adios, amigos!'
Narrator： 'This has been Silly Songs With Larry. Tune in next
time to
hear Larry sing ...'
Larry： 'Bob is really angry! I hope he doesn't catch me! It's so
hard to
run with this sombrero on my head!'
2.Love My Lips
From Episode 5--Dave and The Giant Pickle
Narrator：'One day while talking with Dr. Archibald, Larry
confronts one
of his deepest fears ...'
Larry： 'If my lips ever left my mouth, packed a bag and headed
south,
that'd be too bad, I'd be so sad.'
Archibald： 'I see. That'd be too bad, you'd be so sad？'
Larry： 'That'd be too bad. If my lips said 'adios, I don't like
you I
think you're gross,' that'd be too bad, I might get mad.'
Archibald： 'That'd be too bad, you might get mad？'
Larry： 'That'd be too bad. If my lips moved to Duluth, left a
mess and
took my tooth, that'd be too bad, I'd call my Dad.'
Archibald： 'That'd be too bad, you'd call your Dad？'
Larry： 'That'd be too bad.'
Archibald： 'Hold it. Did you say your father？ Fascinating! So
what
you're saying is that if your lips left you ...'
Larry： 'That'd be too bad, I'd be so sad, I might get mad, I'd
call my
Dad. That be too bad.'
Archibald： 'That'd be to bad？'
Larry： 'That'd be too bad.'
Archibald： 'Why？'
Archibald： 'Oh my ... This is more serious than I thought.
Larry, tell
me, what do you see here？'
Larry： 'Um, that looks like a lip.'
Archibald： 'And this？'
Larry： 'It's a lip!'
Archibald： 'And this？'
Larry： 'It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip lip lip! It's a lip,
it's a
lip, it's a lip lip lip! It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip lip
lip.
Liiiiiiiiiiiips. Lip lip lip.'
Archibald： 'Larry, tell me about your childhood.'
Larry： 'When I was just two years old I left my lips out in the
cold and
they turned blue. What could I do？'
Archibald： 'They turned blue, what could you do？'
Larry： 'Oh they turned blue. On the day I got my tooth I had to
kiss my
Great Aunt Ruth. She had a beard ... and it felt weird.'
Archibald： 'My, my. She had a beard and it felt weird？'
Larry： 'She had a beard. Ten days after I turned eight, got my
lips
stuck in a gate. My friends all laughed. And I just stood there
until
the fire department came and broke the lock with a crow bar and
I had to
spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar
who got
stung by a bee - right on the lip - and we couldn't even talk to
each
other until the fifth week because both our lips were so
swollen, and
when he did start speaking he just spoke Polish and I only knew
like
three words in Polish except now I know four because Oscar
taught me the
word for lip： Oofta.'
Archibald： 'Your friends all laughed ... Usta？ How do you spell
that？'
Larry： 'I don't know.'
Archibald： 'So what you're saying is that when you were young
...'
Larry： 'They turned blue, what could I do？ She had a beard and
it felt
weird. My friends all laughed ... Oofta!'
Archibald： 'I'm confused ...'
Narrator： 'This has been Silly Songs With Larry. Tune in next
time to
hear Larry say ...'
Larry： 'Have I ever told you how I feel about my nose？'
Archibald： 'Oh, look at the time!'
3.Oh, Santa!
Christmas Special：The Toy That Saved Christmas
Narrator：'It's Christmas Eve, and Larry is anxiously awaiting
the
arrival of Santa Claus with a plate of cookies.'
Larry： 'Oh, Santa! I can't wait for you to come, I just can't
wait for
you to come, and I've got cookies! Three yummy cookies! Just for
you for
when you come, oh me, for you for when you come ... because it's
Christmas!'
Larry： 'Could that be Santa？ Could that be him？ Could it be the
one who
brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like
me？'
Narrator： 'Larry is surprised to be greeted not by Santa, but
crafty
bankrobber!'
Larry： 'Who are you？'
Bankrobber： 'I'm a bankrobber! And I've come to rob your bank,
oh yes!
I've come to rob your bank, and I've come to take your dimes and
swipe
your nickels. So stand back, step aside you silly pickle! And
let me
in!'
Narrator： 'Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of
Christmas Larry makes an offering.'
Larry： 'I'm not a banker ... I have no bank my robbing friend,
but I
have cookies--three yummy cookies. And I don't have nickels, but
please
take this my robbing friend. Eat one of these my robbing friend.
They
are for Santa, but you may have one.'
Narrator： 'The bankrobber is truly touched by Larry's good will.
But
Larry, although momentarily distracted, is still excited about
seeing
Santa.'
Larry： 'Oh, Santa! I can't wait for you to come, I just can't
wait for
you to come, and I've got cookies! Two yummy cookies! Just for
you for
when you come, oh me, for you for when you come ... because it's
Christmas!'
Bankrobber： (Simultaneously) 'I'm a robber! I came to rob your
bank, oh
yes! I came to rob your bank ... you shared a cookie--a yummy
cookie.
Though I'd love to take your dimes, perhaps another
time--because it's
Christmas!'
Larry： 'Could that be Santa？ Could that be him？ Could it be the
one who
brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like
me？'
Narrator： 'Once again, it is not Santa who has come to Larry's
door, but
this time a savage Norseman.'
Larry： 'Who are you？'
Viking： 'I'm a viking! And I've come to take your land, oh yes!
I've
come to take your land, and I've come to burn your crops and
steal your
horses. And I've come to ... step on your chickens! And soil
your
quilts!'
Narrator： 'Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of
Christmas Larry makes an offering.'
Larry： 'I don't have land ... I don't have crops, my viking
friend, but
I have cookies--two yummy cookies. And I don't have horses, but
please
take this my viking friend. Eat one of these my viking friend.
They are
for Santa, but you may have one.'
Narrator： 'The viking is also touched by Larry's good will. But
Larry's
thoughts are still with Santa.'
Larry： 'Oh, Santa! I can't wait for you to come, I just can't
wait for
you to come, I've got a cookie! A yummy cookie! Just for you for
when
you come, oh me, for you for when you come ... because it's
Christmas!'
Viking： (Simultaneously) 'I'm a viking! I came to take your
land, oh
yes! I came to take your land ... you shared a cookie--a yummy
cookie.
Though I'd love to soil your quilts, I don't think that I wilt
...
because it's Christmas!'
Larry： 'Could that be Santa？ Could that be him？ Could it be the
one who
brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like
me？'
Narrator： 'Larry is greeted now by an agent of the Internal
Revenue
Service.'
Larry： 'Who are you？'
Larry： 'Oh, Santa! I can't wait for you to come, I just can't
wait for
you to come ... It's finally Santa! It's finally him! At last,
the one
who brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like
me!'
Santa： 'I'm Santa! And I've come to bring you gifts, oh yes!
I've come
to bring you gifts, and I've come to stuff your stockings--oh
ho-ho-ho!
And I've come to jiggle my belly. And wiggle my nose ... Hey,
wait a
minute! Isn't that my belt？ And what are you doing with my hat？
So
you're the ones!'
Bankrobber： 'Wait a minute, I can explain!'
Viking： 'We've changed!'
Santa： 'Nobody messes with Santa! You know that don't you!？
You've been
very naughty! And I've got a list!'
Peach： 'Did you claim that？'
Larry： 'Merry ... Christmas!'
4.Song Of The Cebu
From Episode 7--Josh And The Big Wall
Narrator：Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Larry the
Cucumber
presents, in a sequential image, stereophonic, multimedia event,
The
Song of the Cebu!
Larry： Cebu! This is a song about a boy ... a song about a
little boy
and his cebus ... a song about a little boy and his three cebus
... the
little boy who had a sick cebu, a sad cebu and a mute cebu. And
also a
hippo.
Um ... um ... this is a picture of me at the airport. This is my
Aunt
Ruth. This is me at a bullfight. This is me fighting the bull.
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Ohh!
Larry： This is me and the bull.
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Ahh!
Larry： This is me and the bull and ... I think that's the bull's
cousin.
He's a cebu!
Archibald： Hold it! You call this a multimedia event？ This is a
slide
projector and a bed sheet! And what on Earth is a cebu, anyway？
Larry： It's kind of like a cow. See？
Archibald： Yes. Well, very good. This could be interesting.
Carry on!
Larry： Cebu! Sing it with me! Cebu!
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Cebu!
Larry： Boy is riding with cebu
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Boy is riding with cebu
Larry： Into town in his canoe
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Into town in his canoe
Larry： Sick cebu is rowing and sneezing. Achoo moo moo, achoo
moo moo,
achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo moo moo
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo
moo,
achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo moo moo
Larry： Hippo chewing on bamboo
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Hippo chewing on bamboo
Larry： Can't see boy and three cebus
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Can't see boy and three cebus
Larry： Sad cebu is rowing and crying. Boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo
moo moo,
boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo moo moo
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo
moo
moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo moo moo
Larry： Cebu!
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Cebu!
Larry： Cebu!
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Cebu!
All： Achoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, achoo moo
moo,
achoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, cebu!
Larry： Hippo seen by mute cebu
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Hippo seen by mute cebu
Larry： Tries to tell the other two
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Tries to tell the other two
Larry： Mute cebu is waving and grunting. Mmm-hmm mmm mmm,
mmm-hmm mmm
mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm
mmm mmm, mmm-
hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm
Larry： Uh-oh.
Archibald： Wait! What happens next？
Larry： Um ...
Archibald： Does the hippo see them？ Is the poor mute cebu
successful in
communicating the imminent danger to the other passengers？ Is
the boy
injured？ Why is the sad cebu sad？ Is the canoe wood or aluminum？
Larry： Oh look! There's me and Bob at Sea World! Oh, wow. Forgot
about
that one. There's me and that bull again.
Archibald： You can't just start a song and leave it hanging like
that!
You know, I've come to expect a lot more from you. This is quite
disappointing! I'm going to have to speak to Bob about this.
Larry： Oh look, a cebu! Cebu!
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： Cebu!
Larry： No, wait ... that's a water buffalo.
Jimmy, Jerry ＆ Junior： No more song about cebu! Need another
verse or
two! Audience is standing and leaving, bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo,
bye-bye
moo, bye-bye moo moo moo moo
Jimmy： I want my money back!
Jerry： Yeah, that'd be ... that'd be good.
5.The Haibrush Song
From Episode 3--Are You My Neighbor
Narrator：'Our curtain opens as Larry, having just finished his
morning
bath, is searching for his hairbrush. Having no success, Larry
cries out
..'
Larry： 'Oh, where is my hairbrush？ Oh where is my hairbrush？ Oh,
where,
oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh,
where, oh,
where oh, where ... is my hairbrush？'
Narrator： 'Having heard his cry, Pa Grape enters the scene.
Shocked and
slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel, Pa
regains his
composure and reports ...'
Pa： 'I think I saw a hairbrush back there!'
Larry： 'Back there is my hairbrush. Back there is my hairbrush.
Back
there, back there, oh, where, back there, oh, where, oh, where,
back
there, back there, back there ... is my hairbrush？'
Narrator： 'Having heard his joyous proclamation, Junior
Asparagus enters
the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of
Larry in a
towel, Junior regains his composure and comments ...'
Junior： 'Why do you need a hairbrush？ You don't have any hair!'
Narrator： 'Larry is taken aback. The thought had never occured
to him.
No hair？ What would this mean？ What will become of him？ What
will become
of his hairbrush？ Larry wonders ...'
Larry： 'No hair for my hairbrush. No hair for my hairbrush. No
hair, no
hair, no where, no hair, no hair, no hair, no where back there,
no hair
.. for my hairbrush.'
Narrator： 'Having heard his wonderings, Bob the Tomato enters
the scene.
Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a
towel, Bob
regains his composure and confesses ...'
Bob： 'Larry, that old hairbrush of yours ... Well, you never use
it, you
don't really need it. So, well, I'm sorry ... I didn't know. But
I gave
it to the Peach - 'cause he's got hair!'
Narrator： 'Feeling a deep sense of loss, Larry stumbles back and
laments
..'
Larry： 'Not fair! Oh, my hairbrush. Not fair! My poor hairbrush.
Not
fair, not fair, no hair, not fair, no where, no hair, not fair,
not
fair, not fair! My little hairbrush!'
Narrator： 'Having heard his lament, the Peach enters the scene.
Himself
in a towel, both Larry and the Peach are shocked and slightly
embarrassed at the sight of each other. But recognizing Larry's
generosity, the Peach is thankful ...'
Peach： 'Thanks for the hairbrush.'
Narrator： 'Yes, good has been done here. The Peach exits the
scene.
Larry smiles, but, still feeling an emotional attachment for the
hairbrush, calls out ...'
Larry： 'Take care of my hairbrush. Take care, oh my hairbrush.
Take
care, take care, don't dare not care. Take care. Nice hair. No
fair.
Take care, take care ... of my hairbrush.'
Narrator： 'The end!'
6.The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
Lyricist：Kurt Henry Heinecke, Michael Louis Nawrocki
And now it's time for silly songs with Larry
The part of the show
Where Larry comes out and sings a silly song
Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mister Lunt
Who together, make up the infamous gang of scallywags
'The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything'
We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lay around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you we don't do anything
Well, I've never been to Greenland
And I've never been to Denver
And I've never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul
And I've never been to Moscow
And I've never been to Tampa
And I've never been to Boston in the fall
We're the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lay around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you we don't do anything
And I've never hoist the mainstay
And I've never swabbed the poop deck
And I've never veer to starboard
'Cause I never sail at all
And I've never walked the gangplank
And I've never owned a parrot
And I've never been to Boston in the fall
'Cause were the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lay around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you we don't do anything
Well, I've never plucked a rooster
And I'm not too good at ping pong
And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes
Up against the wall
And I've never kissed a chipmunk
And I've never gotten head lice
And I've never been to Boston in the fall
Huh？ What are you talking about？
What does a rooster or mashed potatoes
Have to do with being a pirate？
Hey, that's right
We're supposed to sing about piraty things
And who's ever kissed a chipmunk？
That's just nonsense, why even bring it up？
Am I right？ What do you think？
I think you look like Cap'n Crunch
Huh？ No I don't
Do too
Do not
You're making me hungry
That's it, you're walking the plank
Says who？
Says the Cap'n
Oh yeah？
Aye, aye, Cap'n Crunch, he he he
Arrrgh
Yikes
And I've never licked a spark plug
And I've never sniffed a stinkbug
And I've never painted daises
On a big red rubber ball
And I've never bathed in yogurt
And I don't look good in leggings
You just don't get it
And we've never been to Boston in the fall
7.The Water Buffalo Song
From Episode 1--Where's God When I'm S-Scared？
Larry：'Everybody's got a water buffalo, yours is fast but mine
is slow.
Oh where'd we get them？ I don't know, but everybody's got a
water
buffalo-ooooooooo.
I took my buffalo to the store, got his head stuck in the door,
spilled
some lima beans on the floor. Oh everybody's got a ...'
Archibald： 'Stop it, stop, stop right this instant! What do you
think
you're doing？ You can't say everyone's got a water buffalo when
everyone
does not have a water buffalo! We're going to get nasty letters
saying,
'Where's my water buffalo？ Why don't I have a water buffalo？'
And are
you prepared to deal with that？ I don't think so! Just stop
being so
silly!'
Narrator： 'This has been Silly Songs with Larry. Tune in next
time to
hear Larry sing ...'
Larry： 'Everybody's got a baby kangaroo, yours is pink but mine
is blue.
Hers was small but ...'
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